Valor Individual

Por fin otra ves me puse a trabajar en mi Progreso Personal, y escoji hacer la primera meta de Valor Individual.

Al leer las escrituras que se piden leer pude reflexionar muchisimo hacerca de mi Valor Individual, pero mas que nada en el Valor Individual de los demas. En esta meta se me pide escribir en mi diario (blog, hahaha) la forma en que estos pasajes de las Escrituras me enseñan que mi Padre Celestial me conoce, me ama y esta pendiente de mi.

Pero al meditar y pensar se me venia mas a mi mente el valor de los demas. Tal ves porque ultimamente se me hace muy dificil aceptar a los demas con sus defectos o de no frustrarme o verle las imperfecciones a los demas. Entre mas lo pensaba mas me dava cuenta que se me olvida que cada persona en esta tierra tiene el mismo valor a los ojos de Mi Padre Celestial. Que cada persona tiene un valor infinito y un potencial infinito. Todos estamos en un camino de progreso. Devo de siempre recordar esto y recordar que Dios me a pedido que ame a mi projimo como el me ama a mi. Porque todos somos de valor infinito.

Todo esto tambien me testifica que mi padre me ama y esta al pendiente de mi porque al hacer esta meta el me ayudo a recibir el mensaje que YO necesitaba. Hiso llegar a mi mente los pensamientos que yo necesitaba para mejorar en un area en la cual estoy fallando. El nos conoce realmente a cada uno de sus hijos. El sabe en que estamos fallando y nos manda revelacion personal a cada uno de nosotros cuando lo buscamos. No tengo duda de esto y se que aunque ya no soy una "Jovensita" el esforsarme en cumplir mi Progreso Personal me ayudara inmensamente en mi diario vivir. Espero poder recibir mi medallon para poder ser un buen ejemplo para Natalie.

***Perdon por todas mis faltas de ortografia pero por lo menos trate!

He's just too little....

It's no secret that my hubby is short. I'm 5'4 and he's 5'.

My mother in law once told me that she felt like she would always overprotect him because he always looked so small and young. Deep inside I was like, "Hmmmm poor kid, I would never do that. I would be doing my child a disservice." Yes the judgmental me comes out once in awhile, hahahaa. But to her defense I have seen pictures of him in 5th grade and the poor boy looked 5 years old compared to the other kids. And in our 11 years married we've had too many to count, experiences of people thinking he's like 16 or something. So it's something we're use to by now.

My daughter Natalie is called "chaparrita" by most people. She's not super short but she is always the shortest in her class or in her soccer team, pretty much everywhere. Poor girl, it seems to bother her. She hates that kids around her always point out how short she is. I always tell her that it's okay for girls to be short. She's one cute shortie! She's coming along slowly to accept that it's okay to be short.

Then Jaimito came along and surprise surprise, he's a mini David! Basically like Natalie says, "We're a family of twins. Her and me and her daddy and Jaime. So Jaimito not only looks like David but he's a shorty like David too. It's soooooo cute. Everyone always seems surprised when I tell them he's 3 and a half. Maybe that's why he's sooooo cute, cause he's cute and tiny! :)

Now I by no means consider myself and overprotective mom. Nothing compared to my sisters who are lets say "EXTRA LOVING AND CARING"  to put it nicely. Hahahaha to each it's own.

Now you might ask why all of this rambling. Well cause remember what my mother in law told me and how I thought, "I would never do that." HAHAHA. I spoke to soon. I never expected Pre-school to break me down the way it has.

First of all Jaimito is almost 4 and he's still not potty trained. I get so much crap about this but the reality is that I have to admit I do overprotect him in somethings because he just looks so small to me I forget he's a toddler now, not a baby. So I haven't pushed him as hard to let go of the diaper/pull up. Then when everyone kept telling me to get ready to send him to pre-school I would kid around and say, "Oh no I'm keeping him with me" Everyone would tell me I would be a wreck when the day came but I didn't believe them cause that's just not me.

I would tell them how it didn't happen with Natalie so why would it happen with him. Then registration came around and I have to say that panic started to creep in. Seeing how much bigger all the other kids looked made me worried. It made my Jaimito look even tinier. Then when we bought him his book bag the think was bigger than him.

Then we went to the teacher meeting and he was in there like nothing. Talking to his teacher and exploring the room. Yet I still sat there thinking, "No he's too little, maybe this isn't a good idea." I couldn't believe I was feeling this way, I sort of felt embarrassed. Then the night before I was sitting on the couch with David watching t.v. thinking about tomorrow and wanting to cry. How was I going to let my baby go off on such a big bus by himself. How would he even try going potty at school, how could I let him go. Then the day Monday came and he was so excited but I was ready to cry at any moment. I got him ready and we went to wait for the bus.

Then the bus came rumbling up to our apartment and my knees felt week. I felt like Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost when she didn't want to let go of the check she was donating. Would I be able to let go of my tiny little baby boy. Well I didn't even have to cause he walked up that bus like nothing and said good bye. I was only able to get this blurry picture of him getting on.

Well suegra, you were right. I just feel like my boy is too tiny. He's my baby and this meant he was off, he was starting to grow even if he looked younger than his age. As soon as that bus left the water works began. Now granted I'm preggers so it could've been the hormones. Yeah, that's exactly right, I blame it on my hormones. But I sobbed like a baby.

 

BUT wait, it doesn't end there. I had other reasons to feel sad and cry. I started to think about when Natalie started preschool. I was working and a lot. So I didn't get to experience this with her and I feel so guilty about it. It was different with her though. Even though she too was tiny looking, she seemed more mature, more ready. Maybe she had too since I had been working since she turned 2. I couldn't believe I had allowed myself to miss out on these experiences with Natalie. Someone else got too for me.

 

When Natalie got home she was so excited to pick up Jaime with me.

 

As we waited outside she couldn't stop smiling and telling me how excited she was to be able to see him get off the bus. Then she looked at me and asked me, "Mami did you feel the same way when you sent me to preschool on the bus?" I felt so bad when she asked me this. I had to tell her that of course I was as excited as I was now with Jaimito but unfortunately I didn't get to pick her up from the bus cause mami was working. She then looked at me and said, "It's ok mami, I know you had to work." But did I really? Or did I just choose too? I always tried to get days off to volunteer at her school and to go to field trips but wow I would give anything to have been able to experience this with her too. Maybe that's why I didn't feel the same anxiety with her cause I pushed it to the side, I was too busy at work to even have time to worry about it. Yes we're super tight now and it can be hard but it's all worth it. I wouldn't give up these experiences for any amount of extra income.

 

The bus pulled up and Natalie rushed to the bus door as Jaimito tried to wake up and walked into my arms. She started kissing him and asking him how his day went as they both said how much they missed each other. He told us how he fell of a motorcycle (hahaha he meant tricycle) and drunk chocolate milk. Yes I wanted to cry again, but this time happy tears.

 

Natalie was having a heart attack when she saw him coloring a little coloring book he got at school. Why? Well because up to this day this boy would never color. He would cry and make us color everything for him. His lazy butt would never do it himself. Yet here he was coloring and nicely I might add. Hahaha she couldn't believe it. So I guess one day of pre-k and we're already seeing progress! LOL!

 

Today was better, I didn't cry. I wanted too but I didn't. So that's progress for me.