Well I have continued working on my Y.W. Personal Progress and I decided to complete the first goal in the value Knowledge.
And like every goal, after reading the scriptures they ask you to read, they ask you to write in your journal what you learned. In this case what I learned about knowledge and the importance of obtaining it.
As I thought about the scriptures I read, I kept going back to the scripture Proverbs 4:7, "Wisdom is the principal; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." A lot of the other scriptures also emphasized the understanding part.
It came to me that lots of times we think we are very learned. We think that we know the gospel inside and out. We read and read and think that we learn, but with all this "learning" are we actually understanding anything of it? Are we actually pondering what we are reading? Are we praying about it? Are we really trying to understand it so that we can live it?
It made me think about myself in the past. Especially the time in my youth and the time right before I became inactive. I had always considered myself a good Young Woman, who was very active in church and who knew a lot about the gospel. As I grew up, I took on that title of being a "good mormon girl". Everyone told me so and I considered myself to be one. But as I think back I noticed somethings. Yes I always went to church and was reverant and payed "attention" and participated but did I ever go home and pondered about what I learned? Did I ever go home and read my scriptures? Did I ever really try to understand the teachings of the gospel? As I got older things didn't change. Yes I opened my scriptures once in awhile, and in church classes I felt the spirit and knew things were true but I never on my own looked to understand all this wisdom that was being given to me. So because I never looked to get knowledge or especially understanding of all this knowledge on my own I wasn't truly getting it. Things weren't making sense in my life, yes I knew these things were or had to be true, but why weren't they making sense in my life. And that's why a veil of darkness fell over my eyes.
Now as I sit here and look at where my life is now I can see the value of not only looking to receive knowledge but of actually understanding it, pondering, and then acting on it. I have a long way to go but I can see the proof of the blessings of obtaining these things. Some of my life circunstances may still be the same as before, yet I'm happy. It's totally different now. Because I have tried harder to understand the teachings I learned of the gospel and to live them, my life is different, it's better. That dark veil that had come over my eyes is gone and I'm able to see things with hope and faith. I know that as I strive to continue to receive more knoweldge, in faith and in temporal things, I will be able to be better prepared to encounter life's trials and to be better prepared to guide my family and myself.
